Hug me
Hold me
Squeeze me
Tickle me
Kiss
Push pull press pat and polish me
Poke me
Stroke me
Bundle me up and heavy handle me
Nestle into me
Grab onto me
Move over me
Squish me, squash me
Clamp your arms around me
Grasp, clasp, clutch, clinch, cling with everything you’ve got
Tenderly touch
Knead my navel
Mould my body with yours
Gently nudge me
Push me over
Roll me under
Fondle my fat
Scratch my skin
Spank my flank
Crowd me with your warmth
Huddle, cuddle, snuggle, nuzzle
Enfold me with all of you
Sit on me
Pin me down
Cover me completely
Give me your weight
And then graze me with your finger tips
And your lips
Skin kiss
And full body hug
Soft warm irresistible drug
That is what my every cell wants
Needs
I’m ravenous for it
Wishful
Wistful
Pining
But you can’t
I can’t
We can’t
So instead I let the earth hold me
Terra firma gives me a permanent hug
It takes my weight
Supports my bones, my being, my sense of self
Gravity reality pins me to our planet
It never stops
It is my constant
A truth I can trust
Heart on the ground
Lips brushing the grass
Hover flies linger above
And the ants dance beside me
They are my crowd
My movers
My touchers
My lovers
My companions
Butterfly massages my eyes for sightly bright light
Sun kisses my face until I am flushed and drowsy
Soil pushes between my toes, deep, damp and burrowing
Bird presses gently into my ears with it’s babbling song
Stick scratches my legs, waking flesh and brain simultaneously
Tree bark moulds my stomach into woody imprints
Sky brushes the top of my head blue
Grass strokes my skin, a smoothing tickle
Hill nudges me and I fall down in a heap
Air caresses every outer cell
Soft waft
Lightly loving molecules
I yield to their touch
Everything I touch, touches me back
Mary Eddowes,
Bristol
Hi Charlotte,
I have been finding lack of touch so challenging and feeling a lot of grief around it. It is physically painful sometimes! I live alone and haven’t been touched by a human for 6 weeks. I realised that I have crafted my whole life around touching people. I’m half way through a holistic massage course and my work in dance and theatre is always working with touch - consciously and unconsciously. I used to hug my friends and family every day and touch is a big part of how I relate to the world. So this change has really been affecting my body and I’ve been trying to find other ways to experience touch and feeling held. Writing the poem really help me to really engage with how I feel and find a way out for it. I’ve been thinking about maybe making a film with the text and nature footage I have, so will share if I have the energy to make it. Anyway, here goes…
Lots of love and sending hugs,
Mary xxxx